Ambience
by Satan's Advocate
Summary: A look into the minds of different characters during different parts of the series.


I've decided to start a little story, where each chapter has a separate plot. For instance one chapter can be about Joan's thoughts in the episode with Hillary Duff, and the next might be about Adam's in the truck.

I'm just giving an insight on what might be going on in a character's mind.

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So he had always known she was different. That's what had attracted him to her in the first place. Well, that and the fact that he thought she was the most beautiful girl he had ever seen. The most beautiful thing he had _ever _seen, besides his mother he figured.

She wasn't so different that people turned and stared at her as she passed, she wasn't the kind of different like Stevie; wasn't peppy or extremely cheerful.

She didn't really have Grace's rebellious streak. Well, except when she didn't get her way, but she didn't _deliberately _go out and do rebellious things with the commonness that Grace seemed to do them with.

She didn't have the aloofness and total lack of regard to other people's reactions to the things she did like Freedman.

She always seemed to procrastinate, and was never organized like Luke.

She had no idea what she was going to do with her life…

And she did the _weirdest_ things. Without any explanation and a total disregard for other people. And when she did something _normal_ she felt the need to explain herself.

Destroying _Ascension_, joining AP Chem., working at Bookstores, taking Piano lessons, swimming, singing, butting in to people's business (his, Grace's, his), tutors, joining the play, joining chess.

…Talking to God.

Absolutely no explanations for any of those as far as he was concerned. It all had something to do with the one thing she could never tell him. – And this he was sure of because it was the biggest thing he couldn't explain about her and the way she acted.

She confusing, misleading, did totally crazy unthinkable – _unforgivable _things. And he found himself so in love. So in love with her, that he got headaches just thinking of any words that began with 'L', because they all went full circle back to his love and her.

_Lasagna, lilies, lockets, latches, leprechauns, love, little, love, lots of love, lucky love, lovely, love…_

**Insanely horrible headache. And absolutely no love.**

And then he realized why he loved her so much. Why she stuck out so _unchallengably _from everyone else. It was because she did things in the spur of the moment, it was because she said no to sex in a deserted parking lot, because she hid things and believed she couldn't show people herself.

He loved Jane because she was herself. She didn't pretend to have any special attributes connected to her. She didn't come with batteries included, she wasn't fully assembled. She could do things, things she didn't understand. Things he didn't even want to begin to understand.

And now he thinks back to summer. And her brush with the "Dark side" as Grace calls it. They don't speak of it, but it's always there, shadowing conversations and hiding behind corners. And although she denies it ever happening, and says she wasn't in her right mind. Adam thinks he knows.

She hasn't changed since the incident; she's still doing strange things, still pausing to think before answering easy questions and still plowing ahead and answering when difficult questions are thrust at her.

Adam figures it's because of God. He's not quite sure why he doesn't think she's crazy, but he knows she's not. And sometimes when he looks at her, he sees her looking past him, at something just seemingly over his shoulder, and when he turns around he expects something remarkable. But it's usually just a janitor, or a little girl, or a Goth. Or a boy in cords. (The last one annoyed him at first)

Nothing remarkable about them, except for the fact that she seems to stare at them. And they seem to stare back. And then they look at him, and they _smile_. Like they know something. The little girl waves.

The Corduroy boy had actually _winked_.

And in the moments of looking at those people that are standing over Adam's shoulder, he knows that he's found it. This is it. This is why…

And his head starts to pound, and he decides not to think of it anymore.

After all, Jane is Jane. And as long as he knows nothing is wrong, he doesn't have to pry.

_He just needs a little faith._

_A.N: Yeah. So. Leave me a review and tell me what ya think:) thanks. -Jay_


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